I was talking to Mel Parrish the other day (you know, just a regular old day, chatting on the phone with a plus-size supermodel), and we ended up discussing an incredibly common thing that so many women say to both of us:
“I’m just waiting until I’m thinner.”
I’m waiting to take that vacation, I’m waiting to put up that online dating profile, I’m waiting to ask for the promotion, I’m waiting to move to that new city. I’m waiting to experience all my dreams until I’m thin enough to deserve them.
It’s like we think that while we may be fat now, there’s a thin woman on the way. She’s almost here! Any minute now, her train will be pulling in. The thin woman we’ve been waiting for is just going to ARRIVE, and then we’ll be able to do everything we want.
That thin woman can get a great job, quit a terrible job, leave a bad relationship, fall in love with someone new, settle down and have a family, backpack solo around the world alone. The fat woman we are now? We think she can’t do any of that.
In a way it’s protective, this waiting for the thin woman who never arrives. It keeps us safe, and it keeps us small. The larger our bodies, the less we try to take up space everywhere else in our lives. We don’t want to draw attention to ourselves because we are afraid that other people will notice that we are fat. I mean, it’s obvious that we’re fat. But somehow we believe it’s a secret. Let’s just all avoid making eye contact and not mention that I’m fat for a little while longer, and the thin woman we’re waiting for will arrive any minute!
The thing is, the only reason it matters if other people think you are fat is if you think there’s something wrong with being fat. The only reason you think everyone else won’t value you until you’re thin is because you don’t value yourself because you aren’t.
But here’s the truth, my darlings: That thin woman, she ain’t ever going to arrive. That train ain’t coming.
The good news is, you don’t need to wait for a train. You’ve already arrived. What would it be like to take up space today? What would it be like to let your body unfold luxuriously, like a gorgeous flower opening under a warm sun?
What would it be like to do just one thing that you believe you can only do once you’re thin? Smile at that beautiful person. Fill out that job application. Book that flight to Europe.
It will be scary. Do it anyway.
You’re who you are waiting for. And you’re already here.
P.S. If you’re tired of waiting to go after what you want, come spend the weekend with us in New Orleans. We’ll help you make a personal action plan help you live and love the life your dreams, no matter what you weigh.